Christmas disaster, I mean dinner

I am not entirely sure I should be allowed in the kitchen anymore.  I went shopping on Monday morning for Christmas dinner.  It should have easily been a "No-Brainer".  I got a turkey breast, bread for the stuffing, celery and potatoes.

Late this morning I put the bird in the oven.  It was not that heavy so I expected it to be finished by 3:30.  Around 3:00 I started getting the ingredients together to make the stuffing when I made a horrible discovery....I was OUT of sage.  My mother's stuffing is extremely basic: ripped white bread, chopped celery, onion, melted butter and rubbed sage.  That  is it. And I had no sage.

Next I discovered I forgot to get ALL the ingredients for the green bean casserole.

Then I checked my bird to see if it was ready for the foil to come off and start browning.  It was no where near done.  Not even close.  I left it covered and kept it cooking in the oven.

I decided to make some form of stuffing.  It would not be mine/my momma's stuffing.  I still used the ripped up white bread, added the chopped celery and onion.  What to do? I started looking around in my spice cabinet.  I added some chopped and smashed fresh garlic, dried basil, paprika, a little bit of cayanne and the melted butter.  I mixed it up and then added more basil, freshly ground black pepper and some freshly ground sea salt.  Are you shaking your head yet? I am.  It's awful.  I went ahead and put it in the oven to bake with the turkey.

My oldest daughter was nice enough to peel potatoes for me.  I got those boiling when I went in the fridge for butter I realized I had not even started the collards.  What is worse is my brain was stopped and I could not even remember how to fix them.  I went ahead and got a pot started with a small amount of real butter, some diced up ham and smashed garlic.  I sprinkled in some red pepper flakes and then added my cut up collards and some chicken stock.  I put  a lid on that and let it steam.

I made tea.  The worst tea ever.....I have no idea how that happend either.  I got the bird out of the oven and upon slicing it realized why it took so long to cook.  I forgot to take the guts out.  The stuffing came out and we all sat down and had a weird Christmas dinner.  Don't get me wrong, I am thankful I am so blessed to be sitting at the table with my family and we have food.  Yes there is that to be thankful for.  The rest? Maybe a shot of pepto bismal or something is needed....and a vacation.  Because usually when my cooking goes bad is when I know I am having some kind of sadness in my heart.  Guess it is time to get more visits in with my heart doctor, Jesus.  He is the one and only one who can lift this burden.

Merry Christmas Y'all.  I hope you had a blessed day with the ones you love.

Happy Birthday Jesus!